Tantrums are learned by accident. At the 'terrible two' stage, a child should be learning to handle frustration; learning to wait for things and learning to take 'no' for an answer. The first time a tantrum occurs, it's like opening an emotional sluice gate. The child is swept away under the pressure of rage and simply loses control. Often the outburst is so sudden and overwhelming that the child experiences fear along with the rage. This is why tantrums often end in tears and why it is so important to give reassurance. However, after the first tantrum, the child is fully aware of what he or she is doing.